I turned 30 last week. 🙂
I love birthdays with all my heart anyway, but this one was different…
It was way more exciting than I expected. Several years ago I thought turning 30 would be the end of my life – I know, that’s lame, but I think every girl in their mid-20s feels that way a little bit. Then last year I started to get used to the idea, and a few months ago I started to get really excited – a new decade! It’s one of those things you hear people say but don’t believe them until you experience it. But I really feel that way now! It feels fun, like life is really just beginning, and all the mistakes I made leading up to this point have given me the insight and wisdom so I might just have the best, most rich, and fulfilling years of my life ahead.
I also panicked a little bit, and worried that the best times in my life were behind me. My mom and little brother set me straight on that one, and I, for my sanity, decided to believe them. 🙂
but i digress 🙂
Every year, on my birthday, I take a few good hours to really check in on my last year – what exciting things did I do, what have I accomplished on my year’s goal list so far, what have been the best experiences and why? I really go back and see where I was on my last birthday – the thoughts I was thinking, what i was saying or wanting or worried about, what I hadn’t experienced yet, what concerned me the most – I find it such good perspective to really check in on how much has gone down in a year. People say (myself included) that life is short, but when i look back on a complete year, life feels long and full of time for any and every thing you could want (or not want) to happen.
Birthdays are also my time to focus – on what i want for the year ahead, what I want to look back on, what I want to say i have done and learned and seen when I’m (hopefully) spending the same time next year in contemplation of the last 365 days. I focus on the things that have been the most important to me, and what have excited me the most, and look to push forward with those things in a big way.
because I want life to be so. freaking. fun.
(I assume you have the same goal!)
I have learned more in this past year than many of the previous ones combined – more about myself, about life, about people and relationships and choices and habits and the Universe and loss and hearts and brains – more about the things that really matter. The grown up stuff. The Most-Important-Stuff. The stuff that, in ten years, I will look back on and say – ‘wow, you really knew nothing!’ – but it’s still a start 🙂 This last year was by far one of the hardest for a variety of reasons – definitely not all circumstantial – but it was also one of the most full, beautiful, and enlightening ones so far.
Doesn’t that seem to always be the case?
Anyway. Focus. 🙂 I need more of it. And this past year, and this birthday, has given me a ton of clarity on where i want and need to focus.
I have loved writing this blog. For me, as an outlet, but much, much more for those of you who read it, that have it affect you in some way, that take precious time out of your precious day to tell me that something I said resonated with you – i love you all very, very much. I really do! And I assume, if you read this, you probably love me, too. It’s okay, you can say it – no holding back here!
Not to make this some dramatic thing, but moving forward, I’m going to write less posts. Probably 1 a week, or every couple weeks (because I know I will be bursting at the seams with something I want to write about), but it won’t be the 2-3/week I have tried to do in the last (almost) 2 years.
I almost didn’t mention anything because it’s not that big of a deal, but I didn’t want to not include you guys on this decision – although it’s not a dramatic change, it is a change, and a conscious one. And I didn’t want to leave any of you out of the mix.
I think it’s important that we all look at what we are focusing on, and make changes as we see fit – they don’t have to be monumental changes, but little things that will help you move your life in the direction that you want are always a good idea 🙂 And, surprisingly, very easy!
Again, I love you all with so much of me, and I really want to thank you for reading anything that I deemed blog-worthy. I hope I continue to keep you coming back for more, and to re-read any of the past 170-something posts up here – they are all fun! And I had fun writing them. For you. Because I love you.
Did I mention I love you?
Big hug to all you Eat-Your-Cakers from the OG Eat Your Caker. And her many many dogs that show up in these posts. 🙂
PS I’m going to update the Facebook page with good stuff that I find as much as possible, so come visit me there, if you aren’t there already. again, love you. okay. done.