yesterday, I ran three miles.
three. glorious. miles. !!!
it has been 2.5 months since I have run any miles, due to a leg injury that got way worse before it got better, and kept me out of my running shoes for 2 months longer than I expected. So! these three miles were HUGE, and highly-anticipated, and I can’t tell you how good they felt!
Yes, of course I cried a little bit mid-run – not only am I highly sensitive to what I call movie-moments*, but running is like my very own natural mood stabilizer, a release, my drug of choice – it was so great to get my legs moving forward again. But! I also felt something that surprised me, considering just how much I was looking forward to getting back to it:
before the injury, I was running 5-6 miles a night without thinking. During these three miles – I had to think. My breathing was more labored than typical, my heart rate higher – at mile 3, my brain wanted me to move forward but my body was like whoaaa…Please. Stop. Pushing. Me. Going. To Die. !!
I was annoyed with myself – come on, you got this! you have had 2 months of pent up energy just incubating, waiting for this – why would you want to stop now?
and my body said it again: Going. To Die.
so you know what? I stopped. I congratulated myself for the huge breakthrough, and vowed to do 3.1 miles tomorrow, remembering the following:
of course my body isn’t even close to being ready to get right back to where it was before. I need to be patient with myself, and be grateful that I can even walk on two legs, let alone run. And – easy tiger. It’s not that big of a deal. You will be fine. 🙂
I’m sure there is something you used to do that you wish you still did today. And I’m sure, whether it was a forced break, a conscious choice, or an apathetic moving away from it, you dread the idea of getting back into the saddle and, essentially, starting over. right? i thought so 🙂 Life-restarts are constant, and something we, as dynamic, multi-faceted humans have to deal with (or not!) on a daily basis.
So I’m here to encourage you to jump back in that saddle today. And trot, my lovelies, no galloping just yet – you will burn out your mind and your horse! make one small move in the way of who you used to be, what you used to do, how you used to communicate, eat, drive, think, speak – there is no shame in starting over, and no one is looking over your shoulder thinking – “ahh good but not as good as you used to be!!” Nope. no one cares (in a good way). So, if it’s important to you, get back to it! And be exquisitely patient, and eternally grateful. and, of course –
*Those moments where you are the main character in your own movie, hearing or experiencing something monumental, usually with slow-building music in the background. 🙂