the f*ck-it button.

i know you aren’t fragile flowers, but i still felt I had to censor 🙂 

this button is very near and dear to my heart. I discovered it in college – I honestly can’t remember if I coined it myself, or if I heard it somewhere – all I know is I loved it, and gave myself permission to air-press it and say f*ck it, out loud to myself, once a day.

Once a day?! you ask! You gave yourself permission to blow things off and say “f*ck it” once a day?? Once a month maybe, once every couple weeks….but once a day??

Yes. You heard me the first time 🙂

but listen! my f*ck-it button is special. it’s different than what you might think, and it certainly does not limit itself only to blowing things off. !

at this particular time in college, I was taking 24 units at time for my Econ degree – partially at my university, partially at the community college, because i was INSANE. I wanted so bad to finish school fast, which I did, but I killed myself to do it. Many many of my disciplines today come from that whirlwind of 2.75 years, so that’s a plus (i guess!). I had a part time job, was writing music with my best friend every night, and teaching myself how to build websites and master editing software so I could get into post-production after college. I tell you all this not to make your head spin, or brag (quite the contrary – i was INSANE. not sure I would do it again.) – but to show you how I really didn’t have much room in my life to press any button that gave me permission to be lazy. i simply couldn’t do it.

But! I pressed my f*ck it button. Almost daily.

I pressed it when I felt overwhelmed. When I got to that point where too many things were piling up, and i felt like I would never get out from underneath. when I felt like my sanity was deteriorating, and everything was becoming so incredibly dire and serious

f*ck it. relax, and please get over yourself. you have a home and your health, and if getting too far behind on college work is your biggest problem, you are the luckiest girl alive.

I pressed it when I felt the paper wasn’t perfect, the all-nighters not enough. when i started to get down on myself for it not being the best work I had ever done, better than the last; that I had slacked a little, or not understood everything like I should have. When I felt like I was on my way to deeming myself a failure...

f*ck it. you are fine. you are a human being who makes mistakes and learns from them. You have the best of intentions and you generally work hard. oh yes, you are the luckiest girl alive. remember?

I pressed it when i forgot something that I was sure i would remember, when I was late for an exam, when I slept through my alarm, when I lost all my 15 page paper to a hard drive meltdown (happened more than once!), when I lost my wallet, didn’t get into a class, slept too little, etc, etc, etc!

I pressed it when life happened. it made me smile instead of lose my cool.

and! I always pulled myself out from underneath the pile of overwhelm, like a beast! the paper wasn’t always perfect, but I survived! I was able to learn how to write down things i needed to remember, make up the exam, set four alarms, rewrite my papers and back up my hard drive, put my wallet in the same place every time, sign up for classes on time, go to bed earlier, etc etc etc! 

with the f*ck it button, I gave myself permission to be human, and to be easy so I didn’t drive myself insane. it gave me perspective – it was a reminder of how not serious my life was, no matter how much I wanted it to be at 19-20… And over the recent years, I have continued to press it – maybe not quite as often, but often enough so nothing ever becomes too serious, too dire, to rabbit-hole-inducing…you know? my f*ck it button has saved me from myself, and I love it for that.

so I think you should all get one. and guess what – they are free! 

love you guys. big goal setting post coming tomorrow!!! get ready!!!

photo

 

 

 

Advertisements

One response to “the f*ck-it button.

  1. Pingback: no worries. | eat your cake and count your chickens.·

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s